From weddings to funerals

It doesn't seem that long ago that Sue and I were spending our summer days traveling to attend weddings. We had to mark the calendar carefully so we didn't miss anyone's big day. Weddings are happy, joyful and forward looking - reasons to celebrate! But as time has passed, the wedding season of our lives diminished. Now, a new season seems to be upon us - and it's not one I welcome in any way. Seems we're at the age where funerals have come to clutter our calendar. I've recently lost an uncle on each side of my family. 

Most recently, our family vacation was interupted with a 7 hour trip to my uncle Harold's unexpected funeral. Unlike the politeness of weddings, funerals give you no warning and demand you drop everything. They quickly shake you to remind you that we are not in control and that life can't be fully planned. Our days are numbered, but none of us actually know what that number is. Funerals are rude, impolite, backward looking and reasons to mourn. I think I really prefer weddings!

But, I've decided to try a new outlook on funerals. My friend, Bob Myles, passed away last week. I met his stepson and explained that Bob and I were friends from Rough River. Bob was the kind of guy who was your friend if you've spent more than a week and a half or so at Rough River. His smile was both infectious and mischevious. He was either making you laugh or planning to make you laugh. At his funeral we got to see some pictures from his childhood. To our amazement, his warm smile was seemingly identical as a toddler. At 55, Bob died way too young. Bob was the kind of guy who admits his mistakes. As he puti it, he was a smoker who quit too late. Lung cancer took his body, but not his spirit. So my new outlook on funerals is to go back to the basics. Trust God in all things - and learn from those that I've been blessed to know. I'm glad I knew Bob Myles and feel blessed to have called him a friend. 

No empty chairs at dinner!

For so many years, the six chairs around our kitchen table were filled. First, with little girls spilling, making messes and needing their meat cut up. Next thing I know, we're paying college tuition bills and a chair is empty most of the time. But the other five were filled and life goes on. Then, a second chair became empty as another daughter venrured off into the world. Suddenly, the girls filling the chairs didn't outnumber the girls missing from the chairs, and the time passing begins to seem accelerated! Removing a leaf from the table still didn't bring back the complete feeling of a family. 

Allegra returned Wednesday night and her Mom and little sister returned from a school DC trip last night. So, for the first time in a long time every chair was full and there were no empty spots. We prayed and thanked God for his loving care and protection. A lot has happened and safety wasn't guaranteed. It truly is a blessing to have them all home, even if it's just for a little while. I realize these days too, will become shorter and shorter as the next girl already considers where her next chapter will take place. So, for now I'm just enjoying the crowded table - realizing that some parents don't have their kids come back. Some fall to illness or tragedy and the chair remains empty. God's grace has spared me from that kind of pain and I thank him for his goodness. Nothing in this life is certain, so I'm focusing on this day and the abundance of blessings God has given me. 

My missionary daughter returns tomorrow!

Allegra in Chinandega, NicaraguaMy 19 year old daughter, Allegra, returns from her year of mission work tomorrow evening! If everything went as planned, she's already in Atlanta going through her debriefing with Adventures in Missions. She's been in Nicaragua since January doing a variety of things, but mostly learning to listen to the Lord. She posted her last blog entry warning of us of a changed woman! I never expected her to return the same - although I thought she was already wonderful when she left. She's experienced so many things and opened herself up to God's calling in both Kenya and Nicaragua. While I will never know exactly what she's been through, I'm anxious to listen and try to get a glimpse of her recent life. She's going to face some challenges as she acclimates to the luxurious life we enjoy here in the states. Reverse culture shock is a given. While I know I'm biased, Allegra has been blessed with writing talent. All her posts are worth the read, but this is one of my favorites: two green mangos. 

I hope as we become reaquainted, she'll notice some changes in her Dad as well. You see, I don't think that God is quite finished with me. I've prayed that he make me an ever more compassionate physician and that opportunities to share the love of Christ become more abundant in my personal life and my practice of medicine. I hope I'm not quite the same as when she left. I know her stories will challenge me as perhaps our roles begin to reverse. She is now the experienced missionary with much to teach her old man. How exciting to trust that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him.

Nicaragua becomes a family affair!

In just a few days, my oldest daughter Megan will journey with me to the southern part of Nicaragua as part of a large medical team. Megan is a sophomore at Xavier and will serve as a translator; two years ago she lived in Spain where she had a tremendous cross cultural experience and learned Spanish while living with a loving family.Megan with her 'Spanish sister', Sylvia

As for me, I'm not quite sure what to expect. This trip, organized through Global Health Outreach (part of the Christian Medical and Dental Association) will have 15 MD's, 5 dentists, a bunch of nurses and support personel and many students. A total of 68 people will arrive on Saturday in Managua to form the team that will venture south to near the Costa Rican border.  This is not a surgical trip, so I'll mostlly be using my medical side. I'm taking a small surgical set with me, just to be prepared! Hopefully, I'll get a chance to share some of that experience. 

Allegra in Chinandega, NicaraguaMy second daughter, Allegra, is spending the spring semester in the northern part of Nicaragua.She keeps a blog at the Adventures in Missions site.  She turned 19 yesterday and reflected on her 18th year of life. I am amazed at the work that God has done in her life. Much like last fall, I will likely find myself in the same foreign country as her, but unable to connect. Seems to bother dear old Dad more than daughter!

 So, please pray for our family and the work God has planned for us in Nicaragua. So many times, I set out on an adventure such as this hoping to bring a positive change, only to discover that the real change occurs in me. I pray that Megan will have that transformational experience through our encounters with the people of Nicaragua. I humbly ask for your prayers for our team and Allegra's team that our talents and efforts can bring the love of Christ to people in need. Please pray for the many medical and dental students that will be part of our team; pray that their lives will be molded by this encounter into lives of service and thankfulness.

One more day...

It's been exactly a month since I returned from my last mission trip. It was my third trip to Africa, the first being two weeks duration, the second was three, and most recently a month. But, despite my increasing time spent there, it was just not enough. Throughout my last day there, people kept coming for evaluation. Most were routine problems, but one lingered in my mind. A lady showed up with a tracheostomy (a breathing tube in the low neck) that had been placed earlier. She had fairly extensive larynx cancer that had not yet spread into her neck but was progressively blocking her airway. The tracheostomy allowed her to breathe below the blockage. Larynx cancer often will not metastasize (spread) until late in the disease. She needed a laryngectomy - which given that she had no evidence of disease spread in the neck, would save her life. But, she had already eaten when she showed up in the afternoon, the OR schedule was full, and  I was scheduled to leave early the next morning. A laryngectomy is not within the skill set of general surgeons. The next ENT to visit Tenwek will likely be in February. The only treatment alternative for larynx cancer is radiation therapy, which is available in Nairobi.  But the costs of travel, lodging, and treatments far exceed this woman's financial resources. If she had only shown up one day earlier, we could have offered her a life saving operation. Instead, she'll return in February with the hopes that her cancer is still surgically curable. 

While this was not as devastating as last year's final day at Tenwek (chronicled below), it serves as a painful reminder of how desperately needed surgical care is in Africa. The mission of PAACS to train and disciple surgeons to serve the poor in Africa becomes dearer to my heart with every day spent there. The long plane rides home gave me plenty of time to reflect - and to begin  planning for my next trip. God continues to open my eyes to see both the need and the ways in which I can help. Your prayers for the people, the young African surgeons in training, and their American mentors are so needed!